As many of you are "painfully" aware - ye ole Tamster has not been her usual pleasant, robust self as of late and while I see slow improvement - my patient gene is dormant and I'm doddurn issuous about not being 100% whole and healthy.
I was having a semi coherent (if anything is actually totally coherent before 7:00 am when teens and traffic are in tandem) chat with BIGSpawn this morning about life in general and the fact that just because your car is stalled in the fast lane, it doesn't stop the rush of traffic behind you...in other words life keeps going even when you are still.
Case in point: Tam is illin' and could use some slob on pillow time. A break, a rest, R&R - hiatus from the drama - what ever but instead our girl is faced with ever so many opportunities:
The HOH who handles the finances of the estate has not added, subtracted, multiplied or divided the check register since his mummy was here - in DECEMBER! And we wonder why we keep getting hit with happy overdraft protection charges on the DEMONSPAWN known as one of the credit cards. Banking lesson one oh one. Banks batch your monies out first...then they post deposits. So even if you trot your little pittance to the teller at 9:00 am - all checks written that day or others in transit coming in that day - will be taken out of your happy arse BEFORE that deposit is posted. And if it results in an overdraft - goody for your bank. Banks are businesses in the business of making money offa idiots like me and you. SO DON'T BE AN IDIOT! STOP THE BLEED! I told him I would get it in order. It will take days. And then, the next time he decides he doesn't want to do the math...I stop paying bills on line. (banging head on desk)
The dear child who knows the golden rule about ONE extracurricular activity was sucked into the vortex of thespianism this year - and is being inducted into the Thespian group tonight. Unfortunately for his predrivers license condition - he also is ushering in a wedding and must go to the rehearsal - tonight. The wedding is tomorrow night and since the big hairy troll also has many friends of the graduating variety - he has a grad party on Saturday. Now the boy coulda chose to hang out with scum sucking idiots, but no. He chose people with parents - people who like the HOH and I...so the invitation to participate is extended. Remembering, the Tamster does not feel well....but must at least make an appearance, properly attired and bearing a thoughtful token...STOP THE MADNESS! I need a day off with NO commitments. Desperately.
AND if that goo wasn't enough to stick all normalcy to the wall of chaos - lets revisit this random illness ala bronchitis, ala sinusitis, ala allergies. The cough is better. The ears - work intermittently - I can smell stuff...A mixed blessing in a house of TPB's (testosterone producing bipeds) yes, I knew the cat crapped on something for the second day in a row the moment I opened the door to casa de hovel - I did not know it was MY JEANS! STOP THE DISASTERS! but lets add the other - 'side effects of sickness' those unidentifiable things that bring me from coma to speed freak in ten seconds at the end of the day. That dropping feeling that whispers "you are now going to pass out and die right here before the end of the plot on whatever ridiculous show you are watching" is it anxiety? Is it my sinus cavities changing pressure? Am I having a siezure, a heart attack? And how about the happy little rash that developed at about the same time the cough came back? Is it lethal? Will my skin slough off? Am I vitamin deficient? WHAT THE HELL! STOP THE ATTACK ON MY BODY!
And finally. Life does not stop. Last night I came home - I did laundry (see prior note on cat crap) I did dishes. (we have this awesome dishwasher....she's typing this blog RIGHT NOW) I made spaghetti. I worked on the check book disaster of 2007/2008. And I even found time for a panic attack or whatever the hell it was. This morning after five hours of sleep, I mentioned it to the hub. I got this really cool eye roll and an OMG response STOP THE INSENSITIVITY! I'M JUST A GIRL! And here I am at work with no end in sight (Sunday is mother's day. We need extra visitor gift packets - that's my job. Monday is the choir banquet. Fred is giving away three seniors and getting his letters. We need to be there. Tuesday is church again.) STOP - JUST STOP STOP STOP!
As much as I scream, the brutality of life is this: it will not stop - nor slow down for me - or for any of us. It will continue to accelerate until we are thrown from this spinning planet - then it will stop for us...but not for our friends, our family...like a spinning skater pulling in her arms, the revolutions are faster and faster....life is a blur. So - consider this post my commiseration with you who are also sick, tired, stressed, burned, depressed and otherwise not whole. I hear you screaming STOP! But the truth is....it won't and we have to figure out how to rise above it. I know this. I will surface again. But pray for me that my health is returned. Cuz its damn hard to ride the pony right now when my grip isn't grippy.
PEACE!
(Tam scurries from the page humming 'You Can't Touch This')
When God wants you to slow down, sometimes He will knock you on your butt. Listen to Him before He has to put the omnipotent DDT on you. 
